I have been having some trouble synthesizing and summing up what I have just been through in regards to student teaching. I really want to reflect and talk about what has been good for me through this process, what has been hard, and what I feel I need to work on from here. But I’m finding myself in a mental block right now.
I finished my full time student teaching at the end of March. I’m now teaching a 35-minute Core Extension class at the end of the day, and although the break is nice, I’m longing for more to do in the classroom during the day. I hope that’s a good sign.
When I ended my student teaching full-time, my mentoring teacher was adamant that she wanted her classroom back full-time. As part of my program, I am supposed to be in her classroom until the end of May. Well, she decided that she would prefer I wasn’t in her room during the day. I think she was just ready to be back in a position that is more comfortable for her. So, now I’ve been placed in a workroom for the remainder of my time there, and I am covering in ISS and subbing where I can.
It feels very much like a let down. And in the back of my head, it feels as if I’ve done something to bother my mentoring teacher. She and I haven’t always had a very communicative relationship (although I have tried), but I feel like I really made an effort to meet her halfway. I’m not sure what else I can do there. Perhaps just letting it lie and moving on is the best recourse.
I’m at the point in my education where I am more forward looking than backward reflecting. I’m anxious about what the future is going to hold, nervous about whether I’m going to be able to find a job next year, and a bit curious what life holds after college is over. It will change the way my entire life looks and I am really nervous about that.